Let’s Show Them Why We Call It “Splatterhouse”

Hello all! Wow, I have been seriously slacking with this blog stuff. I suppose that’s what will happen with the holidays and all. But now that excuse is over… so on to today’s title, “Splatterhouse”.

This is a re-imagining of the original arcade series of the 80’s in the action horror genre. It was basically a beat em’ up side-scroller/platformer. In the updated version they have improved graphics, of course, expanded upon the original story, and have added a more explorable environment. The game is brought to you by the folks over at Namco Bandai.

I had a lot of fun with this game. I’m not going to say it was brilliant, because it deff wasn’t, but it was fun. The most basic point of the game was to run through the mysterious mansion of Dr. West and beat people up (people being creatures Dr. West has created). This is done mostly with your bare hands but the occasional machete, 2×4, shotgun, nail board, or my personal favorite – severed limb help spice things up along the way. The graphics were OK… the video clips were far superior than the actual game play.  As long as you don’t go into the game expecting to find much more than some fun graphics, nudity, swearing, and a crapload of violence then you will also enjoy the game.

If you delve into the story a bit further than what I explained above basically Rick and GF, Jennifer, go to see Dr. West at his giant, creepy mansion. Dr. West kidnaps Jen and does his best to kill Rick. He kidnaps Jen because she is the Doppelganger to his deceased wife. He wants to clear out Jen’s soul to make room for dearly departed wifey. While Rick is laying on the floor bleeding to death a mask possessed with the ominous voice of actor Jim Cummings calls out to him. The deal is: if Rick puts on the mask he will heal him and help him save Jennifer. Now, lets pause for a second and think about this. Obviously, anyone with half a brain would say that this is a bad idea and there’s got to be more to it. Unfortunately, poor Rick is running out of time and blood… he is desperate. So, on goes the mask. Instantly he goes from skinny geek to roided out freak. From here you go through the mansion searching for Jen. The only clues you have along the way are pieces of scantily clad photographs she has left for you in lieu of breadcrumbs. You take out various baddies here and there and learn that the terror mask requires blood to feed his strength.

A nice random fact for this game – The eerie voice that dishes out offensive lines throughout the game in Jim Cummings, as mentioned before. What you may not know is that Mr. Cummings previously lends his voice to such characters as Tigger, Winnie the Pooh, Taz the Tasmanian Devil, and Pete from Epic Mickey, among others. He also contributed to Mass Effect 2, Lara Croft and the Guardian of Light, and Mafia 2… now THAT is what I call well rounded.

After about 10-15 minutes the game gets a bit repetitive. Cummings vocabulary is very limited and he talks a lot. Eventually you get to the point where you scream at the TV… “Yea I get it… you need blood, lots and lots of blood. Shut up!” But occasionally he throws in a new and fun comment like, “See, that’s the shit that got us an ‘M’ rating.” or “Let’s show him why we call it Splatterhouse.” These would make me smile and maintain my interest throughout the game. As the game progresses so does the quality. What begins as a basic smash and grab turns into a pretty complex system. There has also been some great DLC released for the game as well including different storyline add-ons and costume variations. Though the DLC I had the most fun with was, by far, the ability to access all three original arcade games. It was actually really cool to see what type of game caused so much controversy in the 80’s. I played them for awhile and of course did not get it. What they called blood is just green stuff and their splatters are hardly splatters at all. It is amazing how far games have come since then. I’m sure the people who were responsible for instigating all the controversy are rolling over in their graves when they see what kind of game content is readily available now.

Overall the game is great fun if your into violence, swearing, and nudity… tough sell alert! lol. Because of average graphics and vocab repetition I give this game 3 out of 5 stars.

Until next time,my fellow media addicts, remember: Admitting that you have a problem is the first step to indulging!

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Author: VTV Staff View all posts by
  • Paul Krant

    Well written review, detailed, but not too wordy. I would rent this game, not buy it.