Fake News Fridays: Tomb Raider is the new Uncharted, says fan

Game enthusiasts incapable of critical thought say game “X” is just trying to be game “Y”

Internet comments sections and Gamestops have been abuzz with the opinions of part-time-employed 20-something neck beards over the release of developer Square Enix and Eidos’ Tomb Raider game. Vagary.TV hit the streets, YouTube comments sections, and Neogaf to find out what people are edgy and dismissive about this week.

“Tomb Raider is just another Uncharted,” said Ralph Mouch. Mouch, a 23 year old employee at a department store, claims he plays games all the time and deserves none of the criticism he receives from his parents for not going back to school and doing something with himself. “It’s just like with this new Mario games,” he added, leaning on a display counter at his local Gamestop, “they’re just trying to be another Rayman. It’s like, come on, you aren’t fooling anyone. Uncharted did it first.” Other game store vagabonds nodded in agreement while waiting for their turn to interrupt him.

Photo courtesy: Ralph Mouch

“He comes in here everyday and just hangs around for hours,” said the Gamestop employee behind the counter, following Mouch’s departure at 2:00 pm.

A writer of a long form intelligent column on game news site YGN commented on the issue, asking to remain anonymous. “Don’t get upset at them,” she said. “Back when I didn’t know jack sh– about the entertainment industry, I used to fake knowledge by making lazy outlandish comparisons. No one wants to hear about the hot new band or game on its own merit. Just say that band is like Jimmy Hendrix meets The Stone Roses, or that this action game is another God of War. Combine it with a Top 10 article and watch the traffic come in.”

YouTube user xXninjaDjSniperXx commented on the official trailer for Tomb Raider, mentioning that Tomb Raider games have been around longer than Uncharted. The comment was promptly buried at the bottom of the page.

Note: Fake News Fridays uses invented names, statistics, and facts and is to be interpreted as parody and satire. Any use of the real names of people, places, or organizations is in the context of parody, and is coincidental and accidental.


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Author: Kyle Baron View all posts by
It all started with a 30+ page FAQ on Mechassault back on his high-school lunch breaks. Since then, Kyle has graduated from the award winning journalism program at Humber College and has written for and managed several game editorial/news publications.