Today, we will take you on a quick tour through Theftropolis, a thriving nostalgic city filled with places to see and things to do. We advise you to please keep your hands in the vehicle at all times, buckle up, and enjoy the tour.
Our first stop today is Taco Chime. With their late-hours and cheap food, Taco Chime attracts business by making weird combinations of tex-mex food. They are also in direct competition with Taco Bell, though Taco Chime is the exclusive taco joint in Theftropolis. Be forewarned – the food has explosive effects, so plan your meals here accordingly.
Moving along, DJ Hammers Hardware is onleft. If you need nails, hammers, screws, or parachute pants, DJ Hammers should be your first stop. A small chain, there are a few open in town, so depending on where you are you have some options. Fresh Prints is your one-stop printing service. The prints aren’t actually fresh, as they are sent to Bel-Aire to be made, but not many people know that.
Our local university, STFU, is one of the most popular colleges in the area. While the academic scores are nothing to brag about, people are proud to wear the S.T.F.U. letters. Cashing in on the poor college kids who need their caffeine fix, Sixbucks Coffee is literally just that: $6 for a cup of coffee.
You’re heard of General Hospital, well Generic Hospital is similar but without the drama. The most famous doctor here is Dr. Home, and while he doesn’t do as good of a job as Dr. House, he’s decent. The wait times for the emergency room are also just average.
Don’t confuse Taxicab Concession with Taxicab Confessions, or you’ll be in for a disappointment. Taxicab Concession is where taxi drivers go to grab a quick bite or drink while out on the job. Time is money, so you’ll never have to worry about a line of disgruntled customers.
Furthur down on the right, you’ll find Theftropolis’ hit K-pop karaoke bar. Um. For fear of butchering their name, we’ll just call it “Hit K-Pop Karaoke Bar” and move along.
Passing on the right hand side is game development studio, Proclaim. Popular games from right here in Theftoprolis include such hits as Break TV and Immortal Combat. If you look to your left, we are also home to the popular Go-Go Busters, a group of paranormal investigators. If you would like a tour of their facility, one can be arranged by calling ahead of time.
As we come to the end of our tour, I’d like to thank you for choosing VagaryTV as your guide. The bus stops here, at Graves & Goblets Pub, one of the better themed-bars in town. With actual grass flooring and zombie servers, you’ll feel like you are drinking in a real cemetary. With that, folks, thanks again, and please be sure to return to VagaryTV for all of your future touring needs.