Just In Bailey: This Little Piggy Tried to Take Over Hyrule

I was contemplating what my first article should be.  Originally, I was going to write a piece about the younger generation of gamers.  After reading what I had so far, I sounded old and crotchety.  Then I thought maybe I should write something about how video games have come a long way since I started playing them.  That sounded too put on.

When my wife asked what I was going to write about for my first article, I told her these ideas.  She flat out said they sucked.  She told me to write what I know.  Write what I’m passionate about.  She told me, “You know video games.  But, you know the Legend of Zelda like the back of your hand (no Tri-Force on mine, sorry).  Write about that and put  a spin on it.”

So, after  a bit of brainstorming , I came up with an idea.  Everyone talks about Link and Zelda and how Ganon gets his rear end handed to him regularly.  But, I wonder if Ganon’s quest for power is a simple, mindless pursuit generation after generation, or if there is something deeper.  Something that isn’t outright apparent.  Let’s take a look, shall we?

In the Legend of Zelda timeline (which doesn’t start with the NES classic, but rather Ocarina of Time), Ganon, or Ganondorf as he’s known, is the only male of the Gerudo clan.  As I stated before, I’m married.  I love my wife.  But, I have a lot of trouble handling one woman.  I couldn’t fathom trying to please an entire clan of women, especially ones that have ninja-like abilities.  So, he strikes out on his own, looking for the strength to conquer the world (because just a nice set of earrings is not enough).

After obtaining the Triforce of Power, Ganondorf gets a little taste of ruling Hyrule.  After a few years at the top though, it all comes crashing down at the hands of an androgynous boy with pointy ears and an annoying fairy who has a ridiculous need for attention.

Of course, he wouldn’t be able to return home without accomplishing something.  Lord knows flowers probably wouldn’t cut it this time.  And the amount of chocolates he’d have to buy would bury Ganon in debt.  Generations pass.  Ganon is defeated by Link’s descendants each time they meet.  Of course the original clan of Gerudo women have passed on, but the man has pride.

I think ruling Hyrule is based purely on principle at this point.  This brings us to the original Legend of Zelda.  When you meet Ganon he is completely in pig form.  His true form, I suppose.  Which doesn’t give the male gender much if this is how the world sees us.  He also has a really annoying voice if the 1980s cartoon is to be believed (even though almost everyone in that cartoon had an annoying voice).

I have a feeling Ganon, or Ganondorf, may be a bit misunderstood. On the outside, he’s your typical villain.  Someone trying to obtain limitless power.  But then the man has his pride crushed (along with a few bones I would imagine) time and again by a distant relative of the Keebler Elves .  His entire life is run by the women around him.  First, it’s the Gerudo clan.  Then it becomes an obsession with Princess Zelda.  It seems the man can’t do anything right.  There’s also no offspring to speak of, which is another issue altogether.  It’s really a sad story.  But it is a story with a lesson.  Unfortunately, we men are too pig-headed to figure it out.

Just In Bailey –an homage to the secret code from Metriod, which allowed you to play as Samus Aran without her suit– is an editorial column at Vagary.TV brought to you by Joey Alesia. Each week Joey will challenge you to look at a different perspective of the characters, gameplay, and/or plot in your favorite games. Chat up your thoughts below, or send Joey an e-mail at Joey.Alesia@vagary.tv.


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Author: Joey Alesia View all posts by
Joey's adventure into the realm of video games began at 3 when Nintendo first hit the West. He grew up a Nintendo fan and ended up branching out to Playstation when FF7 hit and XBox when Oblivion hit the 360. He's not huge on first person shooters or sports games but definitely enjoys a good RPG or survival horror game. His all-time favorite series is definitely The Legend of Zelda, followed extremely closely by Metal Gear. Joey has a firm belief that games should be treated with respect when they are made and that the classics should never be overlooked.
  • Jrtmarcus

    He had heart possibly, but was all brute using non of his brains. That was what Zelda saw in Ganon. He needed to devise another plan to win her over. Afterall what woman really wants a weeny guy with pointed ears anyway?

  • I guess he just went too far in the wrong direction then? I mean, Ganon has power and is the Alpha Male (only male at that) of his clan, how did Link win her over? If Ganon had just not tried to take over the world, and just tried to woo Zelda, maybe things would have been different? I’m kind of starting to feel sorry for the guy. =p